Heartbreak

I feel like my heart has been torn out, stomped on, shredded, stapled back together incorrectly and put back in backwards and upside down. I wish I hadn't fallen in love with her. It's like losing Krissy all over again. Only worse. Because I know Jessi in person. I know what her touch feels like. I know what it feels like to have her kiss my cheek. My hand. My neck. I know what it is to hug her. To hold her hand. To see her smile light up a room. To laugh with her. To listen to her tell me how she sees the world and have all these new possibilities opened up to me that I'd never thought of before. To feel home when I'm with her. Home in a sense that I've never felt before in my life. And now I'm losing that feeling. I never had a right to it, but it was there. But with her gone...my ability to have that feeling is diminishing rapidly. And I don't know what to do. It hurts.