Strange. That is how I feel. Pa stopped me tonight on my way to bed to tell me he had noticed a change in my behavior. For the better. Said I seemed to be more willing to do little things to help out other people. Though, I don't think he recognized it on his own (my brother-in-law seems to have been the one to have pointed it out). Still, it was nice to hear him say that. Even if I didn't notice the change myself. But in all honesty, it is probably because I haven't had as much time to be mopey as usual on the outside (as in, sitting by myself to think for long periods of time). Life is steadily becoming more fast paced for me. I'm not sure I like it. But such it is.
It seems that no matter how angry my pa can make me at times, I still crave his approval. I still strive to make him laugh, like during Family Scripture Study tonight. I still do things that aren't convenient for me just to hear him say "thank you." I still want to be his little girl. And yet, for all this, at times I despise myself.
Strange. Strange indeed.
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